


Grace Shelby's third wedding

by Ethel09



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-01-23 17:16:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21323803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ethel09/pseuds/Ethel09
Summary: Why did Tommy and Grace only marry two years after the Derby day ? What really happened to her husband ? How did Tommy's family react at the news that they were back together ?  And what about the reaction of Grace's family in front of the scandal ? When did they go to America ? My version of what happened between S.2 and S.3. With an AU ending for S.3.
Relationships: Grace Burgess/Tommy Shelby
Comments: 83
Kudos: 84





	1. A bad idea

Grace realises now that gathering both her family and the Shelby clan for a religious wedding was a bad idea.

Even when she was walking up the central aisle of the church at her uncle Richard’s arms, her eyes and her mind fixed on Tommy, she’d been aware of the contrast between the people sitting at the left side of the church, with the red uniforms and collected behaviour, and the unruly, noisy crowd at the right sideThen, on leaving the church, she has seen the wary and scornful glances exchanged by most of the guests.

And now that the two groups are once again reunited in the house, it is obvious that they will never really mix. It will even be a miracle if the night ends without a clash.

Of course, it doesn’t help that all her male relatives in the army has come in their uniforms of the King’s Royal Irish Hussards, whereas she had expressly asked them not to. She knows that it’s her uncle Richard’s doing. He’s as an undisputable head of her maternal family as Tommy is for the Shelbys, and neither his brothers nor his nephews would have ignored his orders if he’d asked them to come in civilian clothes. She suspects that her uncle’s aim is to send a warning, to remind Tommy of what kind of family she comes from.

But of course, these red uniforms are a red flag to a bull for most of the guests on the groom’s side. The men who have served with Tommy bear a special grudge against the King’s Irish because of their tardiness during the retreat of Mons. The other war veterans just hate the sight of any cavalrymen, in their view a bunch of useless toffs always hidden away behind the front line. As for all the other guests, they feel keenly the class difference these uniforms so clearly displays in front of them.

Indeed, what on earth possessed her to organize such a disastrous family gathering ? Did she think she could erase the memory of her first marriage and the guilt she keeps feeling about Clive’s death ? If so, it doesn’t work. Having all her family around her only reinforces the memory of that first wedding, so similar and yet so different, only enhances the stark contrast between her family’s happiness and approval on that previous occasion, and their current reluctance and wary attitude.

Tommy has been skeptical about the idea from the start. The civil marriage they had contracted immediately after her divorce has always been enough for the convinced atheist he is. In the eyes of the law, on that day she had become his wife, and her soon-to-be-born baby, his child. Nothing else had mattered for him, even the open disapproval of all his family, or the scandal caused among her own kins by the news that she’d left her husband for a man of dubious reputation, had lived with him out of wedlock for months and then had married him without her church’s blessing.

How absurd it is that Clive’s suicide, for her the worst thing she has on her conscience, is what allows her at last to get that religious blessing and to reconcile with her family, if only partially. Yet she knows that they’ll never really forget what they have considered as an utterly outrageous behavior. She can see it in their eyes, hear it sometimes in their whispers.

But it’s not enough to make her regret what she did. When after hours of anxious and then frantic waiting on that famous Derby day, Tommy had at last come back to her at dusk, with a gash on his forehead and a haunted look in his eyes, when she had understood how close she had been to losing him for good, she’d sworn to herself that she’d never be separated from him again, even if that meant leaving Clive more abruptly than she’d have wanted to.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About S.3 E.1, I've seen many comments in which people wonder why Tommy's and Grace's marriage occurred two years after their reunion. Some think that it took two years for Grace to get her divorce. But in that case, she would have lived two years with Tommy as his mistress, and Charlie would have been a bastard. I doubt that a family like the one she has would have ever come to any kind of wedding.  
But there is another explanation : in this time, both the Church of England and the Catholic Church didn't allow the divorcees to marry in church. But the civil marriage already existed in England. So I think that's what Tommy and Grace did. They married in front of the law, and married at church after Clive's suicide, because Grace was no longer a divorcee but a widow. And in that case, it's more plausible that Grace's uptight family would have come to the wedding.


	2. Waiting

It was a long time now since the end of the race. And now she’d just seen Arthur and his troops go. Apparently Tommy had told them not to wait for him.

But then, where was he ? He’d said he’d come back to her as soon as the race was over, and Grace knew that he meant it, knew that her news had been as important to him as she’d hoped they would be. So what could have prevented him from coming back ?

She hadn’t needed May’s explanations to guess that the sudden panic among all the police force securing the racetrack had been Tommy’s doing. Obviously these 'things' he’d told her he had to do were not all related to the race and included, as always, stirring up trouble. What was he up to ? Why hadn’t he come back yet ?

Grace had come as close to Arthur as she had dared to (though he was far too busy to have any spare look for just another elegant and harmless looking woman), close enough to catch his searching glances in the crowd and his slightly worried expression. And then, shrugging, he’d called his men back et had gone, no doubt following his brother’s orders. So apparently, even Arthur didn’t know where Tommy was. What did that mean ?

A rumour had spread, that the police had feared a threat on the king’s life, some people had even said that a man had been killed. But Grace didn’t believe it, for if it had been true, the police would probably have begun immediately some investigations, and there were none.

There was indeed no obvious reason to feel so anxious, Grace was repeating herself, there could be many logical explanations to Tommy’s delay, and she knew how clever and resourceful he was. Yet Grace could’t fight a growing feeling of irrepressible dread. As if some sixth sense was warning her that something had gone very wrong, that Tommy was facing death at that very moment.

It was not before the last race was over and the last spectators were slowly flowing out of the racetrack that a man approached Grace and, taking his cap off, showed her the razor blade that was sewn in its peak.

"He’s expecting you outside", he said." Follow me".


	3. Chapter 3

The car’s door was not closed yet that they were already in each other’s arms, Grace kissing him with a feverish urgency that matched his own.

"For a moment, I don’t know why, I nearly thought that I’d never see you again", she finaly said. "What happened ?" Moving off a little, she eyed him, frowning at the cut above his eyebrow and, maybe, at something she could see in his eyes and that he was too tired to hide.

While he was waiting in the village closest to the field that had almost become his grave, and then in the car that one of his men from London had brought to pick him up, he’d had time enough to ponder over what he would tell Grace about the events of the day. She had the right to know that as long as Churchill would have him by the balls like this, he’d never be be sure that he could keep her and the baby safe. But he’d had no intention at all to tell her precisely what he’d done, what he’d been through.

And yet now, as he was basking in the warmth and light of her presence, just after having been so sure he would never see her again, he suddenly found himself telling her everything, in a few, halting sentences : the murder Campbell had forced him to commit, Campbell’s murder at Polly’s hands, the men of the Red Right Hand, the gaping tomb, and Churchill’s man ominous rescuing.

Just as if they had never been apart, he found himself opening up to her as he never did with everyone. But was she not the woman who had seen him at his worst and had not recoiled ? Was she not the woman who knew what he was and still loved him, still wanted to leave everything for him ?

He’d felt her tense at the direst moment of his tale, and when he was finished she said nothing for a while. Only one of her hands that he was still holding came up to cup his face. Her gaze, full of retrospect fear, of a concern and compassion he didn’t deserve, plunged deeply into his eyes.

And then, seeming to shake herself, she only asked one, very pragmatical question : "Do you fear trouble with the police about Russell’s or Campbell’s murder ?"

He shook his head. "Churchill’s plan is precisely that the murderer will never be found, to heighten the fear for the IRA in the public opinion. That’s why I told Polly that we had to get rid of Campbell at the racetrack too. Churchill will certainly guess what happened to him, but they can’t charge us with his murder without risking some unaware snoop, a copper or a journalist, to find out that there might be another explanation for Russell’s death than an attack from the anti-treaty part of the IRA."

Grace sighed slightly in relief. Her eyes still in his, she said : "Then we’re safe for the moment. We’ll deal with Churchill’s blackmail when the time comes, if it ever comes. But I’m sure of one thing : I don’t want to ever be away from you again, not knowing where you are and if you are in danger. I'll tell my husband about you this very evening, when he comes back from his business trip."


	4. collateral damage

As she heard the door of their luxury suite open, Grace took a deep breath. The moment she had waited for these last hours, with a mix of dread and impatience, had come at last.

"I’m here my love", said Clive’s merry voice from the entrance.

Grace felt her heart clench. If only Clive was not such a nice, sweet man ! He didn’t deserve what she was about to put him through. But she didn’t have a choice. All what she could do was to find the less painful way to tell him what she had to.

Clive walked into the room toward her, smiling. "Did you have a good time today ?" He suddenly stopped, seeming to notice that something was amiss as he took in Grace’s tense and unsmiling face. "What’s wrong, dear ?"

Grace took another deep breath. This was not going to be easy.

"Do you remember when I told you about my work as un undercover agent in Birmingham ?"

Clive’s smile came back, the same half indulgent, half embarrassed smile he had any time Grace evoked that particular subject.

"I remember, my dear. How brave it was of you to try to help avenging your father !"

His words, she knew, were perfectly insincere, and she felt a surge of familiar angriness that suddenly lessen her guilt a little. Even though Clive had never told her so openly, Grace had well perceived that her decision to work as a barmaid in a pub owned and frequented by gangsters, in order to inform the police, had been, in his view, both excentric and unladylike. The whole episode was better forgotten as far as he was concerned. This was another difference between Clive and Thomas : her husband was a good man, but he didn’t really take her seriouly. She was his beautiful wife, an exquisite creature to be admired, pampered and cherished. But not really a companion to rely on.

Of course, Grace had given him a much watered-down version of the episode, leaving out her affair with Tommy and the men she had killed. Well, it was time to complete the story.

"I didn’t tell you everything about that time. I didn’t tell you that I had been the gang leader’s mistress".

Clive’s unnerving smile disappeared, replaced by a dumfounded, slightly appalled look. "You mean that you went that far to draw some informations from him ?"

"No, Clive, I mean that I was in love with him".

Clive looked at her with wide eyes and then said : "Are you telling me that you fell in love with a _gangster_ ?"

Grace slowly nodded. "I didn’t want it to happen", she said softly, "but it did".

Clive paled, and then he said in a strained voice : "Why are you telling me that now ? I’d rather have never known".

In spite of the guilt she felt about the pain she was about to inflict on him, Grace almost snorted. That other remark, too, was so very like Clive, who always tended to shield himself from any kind of unpleasant truth. Always using euphemisms and rounabout ways of expressing himself, at the opposit of Tommy’s bluntness and refusal to take things at face value.

"But it doesn’t matter", Clive went on, "whatever you did before I met you…"

"It’s not a confession, Clive. I mean, it is, but it’s not the end of it". There was no other way. She was about to deal him the final blow.

"I tell you this because I still love him. I saw him again since we’ve come in England. I saw him today and decided that I wanted to live with him. I’m sorry Clive. I’m afraid I never loved you the way you deserve to be. I tried to forget him, but I never could".

Clive looked her as if he thought that she had lost her mind. Then he croaked some kind of half laugh and whispered : "Is this some kind of joke Grace ? You’re not yourself . Have you drunk something ?"

She shooked her head sadly. "No, I’ve never been so serious. I’ve just realized that despite what he does for a living, despite his family who hates me, and mine who will probably disown me, I belong with him and always did. I’ve just been too coward to admit it three years ago. Instead of that, I fled to America and married you, because you were all what a woman could want in her husband. Only I had already lost my heart to another one, hopelessly so".

Clive seemed to have turned to stone, his horrified eyes fixed on her seeming the only living thing in his livid face. And then he suddenly hid his face in his trembling hands, muttering : "Maybe it’s me who has gone mad. I can’t believe you’re telling me that".

Once again, Grace fell her chest constrict. She so regretted the pain she was causing him. "Clive, you’re the best of men", she said. "But somehow, I never felt that I completely fit in your life. In the end, I’m not cut out for it. I’ll never be the perfectly elegant and sophisticated socialite your family would want me to be, and ... "

He suddenly looked up at her, his eyes full of anguish and yet of some kind of sudden hope. "That’s it, that’s the reason why you’re not yourself. We all put too much pressure on you, only because I, selfishly, so badly wanted a child, your child. I was wrong to insist about that treatment, it probably tired you too much as well. But after all, you are almost done with it already, we can go back to the States so you can rest, so we can take time for ourselves, far from my family and any kind of social obligation, and… "

"No Clive", Grace interupted. "It has nothing to do with your family, nothing to do with you, even. It’s only me who’s at fault, it’sme who lost balance, not now, but three years ago when I left Tommy. And now that I’ve seen him again, I can’t go back to the States with you."

She saw hope die in Clive’s eyes. And suddenly, he turned on his heels and walked to the window, his back on her, his hands balled into tight fists at his side. After a while, he talked again, in a kind of strange, dispassionated voice.

"So you’re actually telling me that you want to leave me. To leave me for a man who makes a living out of stealing, racketing, and even killing probably. Have you no regard for what we shared, for the family we were trying to build up together ?"

"I’m so sorry Clive", she said again, "but…

"He turned abruptly toward her, his face a livid mask of fury. "You’ve gone mad, _mad_, that’s it", he said his voice tembling with with anger. "What do you want of me ? A divorce ?"

Grace nodded, a sad but determined expression in her eyes. "I can’t be the wife you expected me to be".

"Hell will freeze before I grant you a divorce !" he exploded "you’re my wife, you’re mine. And it’s my duty to protect you against yourself. It’s medical assistance that you need. We’ll go you back home, you wil have some rest, and we will forget all that nonsense".

A surge of anger took hold of her as well. How very like Clive, again, to declare her inept just because she wanted to leave him. He’d choose any explanation that would enable him not to have to face the truth.

"I’m pregnant, Clive", she blurted out.

She had not intended to tell him. She had hoped that confessing that she loved another man, and a gangster to boot, and that she had been and still was his mistress, would be enough to raise Clive’s anger and disgust, to make him to want the divorce as badly as she did. But now, the words were out, and she couldn’t take them back, only watch Clive fall apart as he realized what they implied. For they had not slept together since her last period. He’d been travelling for business a lot, and even when they had been together, she had used one pretext or another, mostly claiming to be too tired because of the treatment. The truth was that as soon as she and Tommy had been reunited, it had become impossible for her to sleep with her husband. She would have felt as if she was cheating on both of them if she had. And so she had waited, still unable to tell Clive the truth, to really make up her mind, until the baby had given full answer to her doubts.

When Clive found his voice again, it was so full of absolute despair that Grace felt her heart break again. "So I’m the one who can’t have children…. and you have found someone else to give you what you wanted".

"No Clive", she said softly. "You’re the one who wanted that child so badly. I only found out that I was still in love with Tommy, and that I wanted to keep his child. As for you, the fact that we couldn’t have a child together doesn’t mean that it will not work with another woman. You know that the doctor said that maybe we were just not compatible".

He laughed bitterly. "Another woman ? I’ve already been married, remember ? And I wanted that child with _you"._

After a pause, he whispered : "Tell me the truth : would you have left me, without that baby ?"

This made Grace pause. Would she have left him indeed ? He deserved the truth. And suddenly, she knew what it was. "The baby made me take my decision faster than I would have. But even before I knew, I don't think I could really picture myself going back to the States, leaving Tommy behind. The baby only helped me to face the truth."

Clive closed his eyes. "Then there's nothing to add", he said in a hoarse whisper. 

Grace bowed her head, overwhelmed by shame and sorrow. She heard his footsteps recede slowly out of the room, then the door open and close. She sighed. The most difficult part had been done. There was no way back now. She felt tremendous guilt, but no regret.

And that was another reason why she and Tommy were much better matched. They both tried to avoid collateral damage, and they had regrets when some happened.

But not enough to stop reaching out for what they wanted, no matter what.


	5. An unwelcome visit

In spite of all what Tommy could stay, Ada had never lost the habit to answer the door herself. But this time she wished she had, seeing who was on her doorstep.

"I know you want to slam the door in my face", said the gorgeous woman she hated so much, "but dont’t you think you owe it to Tommy to listen to me a bit ?"

For a moment Ada wondered what she meant. Did she want to remind her that in spite of her claims to independance, she lived in a house that Tommy had paid ? Then she realized that she was talking about the time Ada had accused her brother of having betrayed his best friend and brother-in-law to the police, whereas it was the sneaky bitch she had in front of her who was the one responsible. She would never forgive her to have been the cause of her unfair accusations. And above all, she would never forgive her what she’d done to Freddie.

And yet, maybe the odious woman had a point, as reluctant as Ada was to admit it. Maybe she owed it to Tommy to listen to her, because on another time, she had refused to listen anything.

So she opened the door and let Grace in. She led her to the living room and motioned her to take a seat, then took place in her favorite chair.

"Well ?" she asked sharply, raising an eybrow.

"I gather that Tommy’s announcement to the family that we’re back together didn’t go very well", Grace started.

That was the understatement of the year. Arthur, whom the fake waitress had particularly taken for a fool, had bellowed at the top of his lungs, and John and even Esme had followed suit. Polly had been icily venomous. And as for herself, she was well aware that she’d become utterly histerical, shrieking that if Tommy could even consider welcoming in the family the snitch because of which Freddie had been dragged away from her on the very night of Karl’s birth, then it was the proof, if any was needed, that he didn’t care for anyone but himself. Only Michael had not added his voice to the outraged chorus, but then, he only knew the infamous Grace by heardsay. And besides, _he_ actually never cared about anything but himself, and the sooner Polly and Tommy would realize that, the better.

"What had you expect, the both of you ?" Ada said. "That the family, and especially I, would be happy at the prospect of having you around again ? Considering what good it did to us last time ? As Polly said, do we have to applaud even when Tommy is completely out of his mind ? Can you imagine how it feels to have your husband snatched from you merely an hour after you gave birth to his son ? Do you know what they did to him when he was in prison ? Because of you, I said things to Tommy I will never forgive myself. Because of you, Kimber shot him, he could have killed him, and Freddie, Arthur and John. I hate you, sweetheart, and I really don’t know how you can imagine that could change".

Grace sighed deeply. "I’m truly sorry, Ada, for all what you’ve been through because of me. I don’t know if you’ll forgive me one day, but I had to come and apologize properly".

Her eyes were, indeed, full of sorrow and regret. But her talents as an actress were too well known for Ada to buy it.

"And you think that an apology is enough ?" she asked sarcastically.

"I know it’s not, Ada. And I didn’t come here in hope of obtaining our forgiveness. And", she addded with a sudden belligerent gleam in the eyes, "if it was only for me, I wouldn’t even care to get it. I would be perfectly content to live in the estate Tommy has bought for us and to never set eyes on any of you".

"Well, why don’t you do just that ?" replied Ada tartly.

"You know perfectly well why. Because of Tommy. I don’t want him to be at odds with his family because of me".

"Oh, don’t worry for him", replied Ada, remembering how Tommy had been his most exasperating, impervious self during the whole tempest. "I think he doesn’t care in the least about what we fell about whatever he does".

"You’re wrong, Ada. And I think that deep down, you know it. I think you know that all what he’s done has been done to keep your family afloat".

"On a material level, maybe. But when did he ever seem to care about what we feel ? Why, he did his very best to separate me from Freddie, he chose John’s wife for him, he… "

"But as far as I know, John is happy with his Esme, isn’t he ? And as for you, he tried to separate you from Freddie because with him you were in danger, and forced to hide and live in squalor. Because he knew that he was a man who would always put his cause above his family". 

This was a point Ada could not discuss. Had she not herself been shocked and angered by the way Freddie would always dismiss her material difficulties in regard to what he thought to be his mission ? On this, he was in complete opposition with her own education: for the gypsies, there was nothing above family.

"But I loved Freddie, no matter what, and Tommy had no busines interfearing in such a way. Besides, why couldn’t he let me fight my own battle ?"

"Because you’re his little sister, and he loves you".

Ada snorted. She could not believe she was actually discussing Tommy with that woman who was worse than a stranger : an enemy. And yet maybe, if anyone knew something about that enigma that was her brother, it was Grace.

And so she coulnd’t prevent herself from saying : "How can you say whether he loves me or not ? The way he hides his feelings, one could wonder if he has any at all. He never opens up to anyone". _And least of all to me_, she added only of herself.

"As you’ve just said, he only hides his feelings. I hope I won’t hurt yours", said Grace, in a tone that clearly showed that in fact she didn’t care at all if she did, "but your family seems to me a rather emotional, often irrational bunch of people. One had to be the adult in the room, and it’s not as if there were many other candidates for the role".

Ada thought of Arthur, his shortcomings and his painful awareness of them, about Polly’s bouts of self-pity and boisterous drunkenness, and she sighed. "You might have a point. But I’m not a child and I’m not stupid".

_Why can’t he show me the same repect he shows to Polly_ ? Ada thought. But that was a question she could never bring herself to ask anyone, least of all the woman in front of her.

And yet, Grace seemed to guess, at least partially, what was in her mind, because she said : "No you’re not. In fact, Tommy told me that he considers you the most intelligent member of the Shelby family… apart from him, of course", she added with a laugh. "But you’re his little sister. Showing his feelings to you, for him, would be showing you his weaknesses. But you do know he loves you, don’t you ?"

Yes, deep down Ada knew it. She remembered the happy gleam in Tommy's eyes when he’d given her the keys of the house, and his categorical tone when he’d tell her that he wouldn’t sleep if he called back the men who watched over her… He very seldom showed it, but he did love her.

"Why did you come here to tell me all that ?" Ada asked, in a softer tone than she wanted. "Why didn’t you go to see Polly ? She has a greater weight in that family than I, you know".

"Because apart from Tommy himself, you’re the one I wronged the most". Ada snorted. "Tell this to Danny’s widow. He’s the man who was shot by Kimber".

"I know", said Grace. "But I can’t bring him back to life, nor can I erase what Tommy, you or Freddie suffered because of my actions. If I could undo what I did, I would, believe me. You must understand that the way I was raised, helping the police was the right thing to do when it come to dealing with criminals, and I was raised as well to see communists as being nothing else. All my actions, in this time, were commended by one and only obsession : to avenge my father’s murder. I think you can understand that".

Yes, Ada could. Family solidarity was one of the few unbreakable laws in her world.

"And besides", Grace went on, "if I came to you, it’s also because I think we shared a very similar experience".

"Oh ?" Ada could not imagine what she could have in common with that spoiled, posh girl who had wanted to play with danger.

"You didn’t choose your Freddie only to spite your brothers, did you ?"

"Of course not !" exclaimed Ada indignantly. "I loved him ! Do you think I willingly chose to make my life that complicated ?"

"Well, I could say as much, exactly so. Do you think I chose to fall in love with Tommy ? Can you imagine how it feels to be irresistibly attracted to someone whose background, values and way of life are the polar oposite to what you’ve been taught to consider as morally and socially acceptable ?"

Ada caught herself trying to. Freddie’s values had not been the polar opposite of hers. After all, Tommy himself had been a member of the communist party before the war. Her family’s rebellion against the established order was a more individual one, but the finding on which was based both their actions and Freddie’s activism was more or less the same. Still, Freddie’s idealism, his readiness to sacrifice not only himself, but also his family life to his cause, this she had never quite understood. But she had loved him in spite of it, nonetheless. Tears suddenly prickled her eyes, and she felt angry at herself, and at Grace again, who knew all too well where to strike.

"So", she added acerbically : "We have established that you’re sorry for what you did and that you didn’t intend to fall in love with Tommy. In what way is this supposed to make me any less angry at my brother for chosing you among all the women he could have ?"

Maybe it will, if I can make you understand this : there’s something between Tommy and me, that is stronger than all what make us different". Grace said. "Something that makes me the right person for him just as he’s the right person for me. You said before that he never opens up to anyone. Well, he opens up to _me_. With me, he’s not the ruthless gang leader he is with Polly, or the sometimes patronizing kind of father figure he tries to be for you and your siblings. Only I can see, behind that facade he has built up, the sweet, idealistic boy he was before the war. He shows me his hurts, his doubts, He asked me to help him through life, and I think I can". As she said these words, Grace’s face was glowing with love, and Ada felt touched in spite of her.

"You really love him", she said, and it was not a question but a surprised, reluctant statement.

"I do", answered Grace quietly.

"And you’re not just a trophy for him", Tommy’s sister added with the same hint of astonishment in her voice.

"You thought I was ?"

"Well," drawled Ada, "it’s not as if my dear brother wasn’t a bit of a show off sometimes. Look at the castle he’s just bought".

There was a small silence, then Ada asked : "What do you want of me ?" Her tone, this time, didn’t leave any doubt on the fact that she really meant the question.

"I don’t ask you to forgive me", said Grace, "but only for you to stop giving Tommy a hard time about me, and to be at least civil to me when we will meet, for his sake. I ask you to accept that whatever you think of me, I’ll do him good".

"You almost convinced me that you will", Ada said rather grudgingly. "And I’ll do what you ask. But I’m probably the more civilized person you can find in that family, you know. Do you imagine you can convince the others as easily ?"

"Your brothers never resists Tommy’s will for long and they look up to you, even if they don’t want to let it show. They’ll quickly follow your lead. As for Polly… "

"Yes, what of Polly ?"

"Tommy says that his aunt’s main weakness is that she doesn’t know how to let go of the past. And indeed I can imagine her holding grudges for years. But she‘s also very pragmatic. I know she’ll probably always hate me, but once she realizes there’s nothing she can do to make me go, she’ll put up with me. She’ll always be a little prickly, though, I suppose".

"That leaves Esme and Michael".

"Esme doesn’t really care about any of you except John, and I did nothing to him directly. As for Michael, he wasn’t even there at the time, and besides… I can’t say of course that I know him well, but I ‘m not sure he cares about anyone but himself", Grace added with an odd little hint of unease in her tone.

This landed so close to Ada’s own recent thoughts about the boy that she cast Grace a surprised, almost approving look. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to have another smart person around, someone with enough distance from the family to have an impartial perspective. Someone, above all, who would watch Tommy’s back in a way neither she nor either of the others would ever be able to.

She wasn’t sure she could one day forgive Grace, and even less see her as a friend. But she might come to see her as a very usefull addition to the family.

And maybe, eventually, as an ally.


	6. The telegram

It’s been nearly two years after Grace’s and Tommy’s civil marriage when the fateful telegram arrived. They’d just had breakfast in the south dining room, a sunny, cheeful place even in winter, Tommy was reading the paper and she was busy opening her mail –not that there was much of it, what with her family still shunning her out- . It was a moment of daily peaceful domesticity she always enjoyed.

Suddenly her eyes fell on the telegram and above all its origins : Poughkeepsie. She openend it slowly, then blanched and let out a strange strangled sound.

Tommy looked up from his paper at once. "What’s wrong ?" he asked.

"It’s a telegram from Myrtle, my sister-in-law. Clive killed himself, and she curses me for it", said Grace in a hoarse voice.

Tommy rose and came to her, wrapping his arms around her. "It’s not your fault, he stated firmly. It’s been two years since you left him. Don’t you think that if he had wanted to take his life because of you, he would have done it before ?"

Trust Tommy to go to the point without losing time with empty and insincere expressions of sympathy. But after all, he had barely seen Clive three of four times, one of which was where her husband had aimed a gun at him.

"I know my leaving is not the only reason", she said. "But in the end, without our affair and without me becoming pregnant, he might never have found out that he was sterile. He was never the same after that".

One could have rather said that after that, he’d completely lost it. After her confession and his dramatic exit, he’d come back on the following morning, begging her to stay with him, promising to take care of the child as if it was his own. When she had refused, telling her that the real father of the child wanted it, wanted her, he’d seemed to become completely mad, shouting that she was taking away from him his only chance to have a family, and for a man completely unworthy of her, unable to take care of a child.

And she’d realized that for Clive, it didn’t matter if the child was not biologically his as long as she would go along with that pretense with him in front of his family and all the society of Poughkeepsie. Clive wanted an heir, his father wanted him to have an heir, and that was it.

It had not changed anything when she had pointed out that once he had divorced her, he could marry someone else.

"Would you want me to propose someone without telling her that with me she’ll never have children ?" he had shouted. "Or would you want me to tell her, to make sure that she will refuse ?"

"You could adopt a child", she had replied.

"A child with an unknown, dubious background ? My father would never accept that !"

"Do you think my child’s background would be more accetable to him ? So that you know, Tommy is not only a gang leader, he’s a gypsy as well".

This had seemed to give Clive pause, only half a minute. Then he had shrugged. "He would never know, he had said. And you and the child would always be well provided for. Your gypsy lover will get rid of you sooner or later, or beat you and the child, who knows ? I can’t let you put yourself and your child in such a situation"

"Thomas would never do that. And even if there was any risk of it, you don’t have any kind of say in the situation", she had replied angrily. "It’s my life, and my child, not yours. I want to raise it with its real father, and he wants it too".

"And have you thought of the sacandal of a divorce, in the eyes of your family as well as mine ? Of the scandal of living with such a man ?"

"I’ve thought of it and I don’t care", she had shouted back.

"Well, I do. And I won’t grant you your divorce".

"In the end, you will, if only to get out of an humiliating situation. For I’ve no intention of staying one minute more in here with you".

Then, he had noticed her nearly finished suitcases, and had blanched. "Where are you going ?" he had bellowed. "I forbid you to leave me".

"I am, just now. Unless you plan to stop me physically". She would have not considered this new Clive above physical violence, but her special branch training, and the gun in her purse, would have made her a less easy prey than he might have thought.

But when she’d rung the bell to call the hotel carriers, he’d restrained himself from doing or saying anything violent, probably less for her sake that out of fear to make a spectacle of himself.

And so she had gone to live at Tommy’s place. It had not taken long for Clive to hire a private investigator to find her new adress, and to alert her family. She’d had, of course, a phone call from her outraged uncle, ordering her to go back to her husband or face complete disowning. She’d had an overdramatic interview with her aunt who had come especially to London to lecture her in one of the private salon of the Ritz. Clive had even tried to lurk around Tommy’s flat, waiting for her to go out to talk to her, but he’d been of course immediately spotted by Tommy’s security service and firmly convinced to remove himself from the area.

At that point, Grace had gone to live in Tommy’s new estate, and had left her lawyers try to talk sense into Clive. Which task had obviously been beyong their capacity, for he had once popped up at a the Cheltenham races, where Tommy and Grace were in attendance, and had aimed a gun at his rival, calling him a thieving gypsy scum who had to give him back his wife and child. Tommy had walked straight to him as if the gun didn’t exist, had quickly wrestled it out of his hand, and then let his men remove him out of the racetrack.

Clive had probably expected to be arrested or at least questioned by the police after that. When it had become obvious that it was as if the incident had never happened for both the police and the press, he had begun to realize that even his money and social status didn’t match his rival’s power on his own territory, and that neither the scandal nor her family’s anger would shake Grace’s resolve. He’d said as much, in far less chosen terms, in a short note he’d sent her a few days after the incident, telling her that he accepted the divorce, who would naturally be an at-fault one, considering her conduct. Grace didn’t care, as long as it was done, and a few weeks later, Clive had been back to America. She had never set eyes on him again.

She’d sometimes received some news about him from Janet, her only Poughkeepsie friend that had not turned her back on her, the wife of one of Clive’s associates, bored and trapped in an unhappy marriage. She had told her, first, that Clive had been engaged to the daughter of another associate of the bank and she had been happy for him. Then, she had learnt that the girl had broken the engagement. Was it because Clive had told her that he couldn’t have children ? In a third letter, Janet had told her there were rumors that he had started to drink far too much.

And now, this. Grace could only suppose that in the end, him being unable to sire an heir had come to seem to Clive, unhinged as he had become, an insurmountable obstacle to any kind of happiness. And in the end, she was the one who had put him in that situation. If she had not married him whereas she didn’t relly loved him, or if she had stuck to her vows once it was done, he’d not had met that fate. But guilt was not an unfamiliar feeling to her and she’d learnt to live with it, as Tommy did as well.

For they were dangerous people, Tommy and Grace, sometimes they smashed up things and creatures to reach their aim, and left ruins in their wake. But their awareness of this shared trait served only to keep them together all the more.


	7. Two proposals

This time, Grace thought, it was her who would have to propose. 

When the new of Clive’s death had reached her, naturally she’d transmitted it to her family. She’d not really expected any reply, but then, much to her surprise, her aunt had answered immediately, expressing her sadness but also, almost in the same sentence, her hope that now she would "do the right thing" and make her marriage "a true, christian one".The family, incuding her uncle, was ready to attend the ceremony as soon as Grace thought possible to organize it.

Even if she had hated herself for that, Grace had already realized that she was now a widow, free to remarry at church if she wanted to. And she was glad that her aunt and uncle, whom she loved, had at last decided to offer her the olive branch.

Only that accepting it meant first convincing Tommy as well that a religious marriage was "the right thing to do", and then facing a reunion, in the same room and for a full day, of the Burgess-Currans and the Shelbys, a perspective that was nothing if not nightmarish.

So yes, definitively, this time Grace would have to propose.

With a smile, se remembered Tommy’s own proposal, the very next day after the pronunciation of her divorce. They were on the terrace of a hotel, as it had been necessary to go to the States and even to Poughkeepsie to conclude the procedure, Clive having made sure of it. Tommy had actually kneeled in front of her, presenting her a ring with the most beautiful saphire she’d ever seen. And he’d added, his words calling back fond memories :"I know you like to be asked properly".

And now, after such a perfect moment, what words would she use to ask him to marry her again, in the sight of a God in whom he didn’t believe, in front of her uptight and snobbish family whose members had done their very best to separate them ?

Had not her aunt come from Dublin to London in the sole purpose of lecturing her about her duties as a married woman and as a member of the Burgess-Curran family? "How can you do that to us", she had whinned, "how can you leave your charming husband for that man ! A man so far beneath you, and not just because of his origins ! Richard says that his right place is in prison !"Even Grace’s deep love for that woman who had done her best to replace her mother had not prevented her from cutting short the interview and storming out of the room.

And it had not been the worst of it : Had not her uncle – but this she’d only known that much later - come to see Tommy without her knowledge ? Grace could imagine all too well how such an interview must have gone : her self-righteous, overbearing uncle Richard, trying to intimidate Tommy into letting her go, and her unflappable husband smoothly telling him to go to hell.

Of course, even assuming that someone actually capable of intimidating Tommy would ever walk the earth, that person was not her uncle. But whatever had happened between them, it must have angered her husband more than he’d let it show, for he’d never mentionned the episode to her. Had not her cousin Violet, the only one still writing to her at the time, said something about how upset her uncle was at his return from the interview that she might never had known about it.

When she’d asked Tommy why he’d not said anything about it, he had replied, in perfect Tommy-like fashion, that it was because there was nothing to say about it. "He tried to threaten me, I showed him that it was an ill-advised move, and that was it", he'd said.

But Grace suspected that if Tommy had so little to say on the subject, it was because the interview had been a particularly unplesant one, for he obviously always found easier to keep silent than to talk about things that might upset her.

And she didn’t like that one bit. Had he forgotten that time when he’d told her that they would help each others ?

During these two years, in spite of the legal battle she’d been locked in to free herself from Clive, her rather difficult pregancy and now the time they both always dedicated to Charlie, she’d done her best to be be part of Tommy’s endeavour to transfer most of his activities on the right side of the law. But even if he now spent most of his time taking care of these new aspects of his business, she knew perfectly well that there was still another and more shadowy side of it that he did his best to keep away from her. Grace knew that it was only a testimony of his love, that he tried to shelter her from what could hurt her feelings as a (formaly) perfectly law abiding citizen. And for the same reasons, he’d tried to avoid telling her how unpleasant the interview with her uncle had been.

But she didn’t want to be sheltered from any kind of unpleasantness. She wanted to know about all the difficulties Tommy had to face, whether small or extreme, and help him to overcome them.

She knew that sooner or later, she’d have to confront him on the subject, especially as in these days it was becoming more and more obvious that he was hiding some new worries from her. Anyway, she had to talk to him about the wedding first. In the end, she knew that it wouldn't be too difficult to convince him. It would be better for Charlie if they were actually wedded in a more conventional and socially accepted fashion. And a religious wedding generally meant having the family in attendance, so they would have to go through it. She had to admit to herself that she was glad at the idea of seeing her aunt and her cousins again.

So yes, the discussion about Tommy’s secrets would have to wait. Hopefully the wedding would pass without incident, and there would be time then to find a way to make him at last open up to her completely.


	8. Family reunion

Half hidden behind the marbe banister of the huge double-flight staircase of her family house in London, Violet Curran, daughter of Francis, the second Curran brother, peeped downstair in hope of getting a first look on Grace’s infamous husband – or was it betrothed, as her family wouldn’t accept her marriage as valid before the upcoming religious ceremony - ? The situation, a perfectly shameful one according to Violet’s mother, was very enterainting in the eyes of the mischievous eighteen-year old girl.

And the conversation between her uncle Richard and her own father, that she had eavesdropped a few days before, had done nothing to dampen her curiosity.

"No, Francis", her uncle had said, "he’s not just a gypsy upstart with an ill-acquired wealth, as you say. That man is the devil himself. I fear for Grace, and that’s another reason not to sever our bonds with her. But don’t tell this to anyone, there’s no need to upset the rest of the family, least of all our wifes. For now, what’s important is that Grace’s scandalous situation can be put to an end. We’ll tell the rest of the family and friends that Shelby is a successful businessman, and insist on his stellar war record. Which is genuine, by the way. The man has balls, I have to admit that".

Hearing a servant coming, Violet had had to walk away from the door near which she was lingering. She had no qualms at all about evesdropping. It was so annoying to be treated all the time as a priceless china doll who would break at the first shock, to be kept ignorant of anything interesting !

That’s why she was there, waiting to have a look at Grace’s gypsy gangster -and war hero -, instead of waiting in her room to be called downstair like a well-educated miss.

But she was not hidden well enough to escape the sharp eyes of her father, who was standing with his brother and his wife in the hall.

"If you are ready", he said, "you might as well join us. They are arriving".

And with that, the maid opened the door, and Grace and her husband came in.

At first, the man clad in a Saville Row suit at her cousin’s side was not at all what she had expected. No swarthy complexion, no ring in the ear when the man took off the hat that was shadowing his face, but the most striking blue eyes Violet had ever seen.

And yet, despite the fact that he didn’t fit at all her image of a gypsy, he was notheless both exotic and fascinating with these high cheekbones, that inscrutable and yet percing glacier blue gaze. Even his lower class speech, that he oviously didn’t bother to correct, didn’t sound vulgar at all with such a deep, throaty voice.

They all moved to the parlour, where the rest of the family joined them. The conversation, led by Grace and her aunts, became rather general. Only uncle Richard was keeping silent, glowering at the whole damily reunion.

General Richard Curran knew that he had to take a grip on himself, stop frowning and join the concersation. But the way his niece Violet was staring at the newcomer hadn’t escaped him. Even his wife and sister-in-law seemed somehow mollified, almost under the ruffian’s spell already.

As for him, any time he crossed the other man’s eyes, he felt a surge of anger and fear at the memory of their last interview. He could have bet that Shelby remembered it too, even if his eyes when they met his didn’t let it show. Hell, he’d almost have prefered to read anger in these eyes, at the memory of his own attacks, or to see a sneer on the man’s lips, considering the way he had turned the table on his opponent the last time they had met.

For his foolish niece’s sake, Richard had actually tried to intimidate the man, treating him as the gypsy lowlife that he was and telling him that if he didn’t do as he was told and send Grace back to her husband, to the social circle to which she belonged, her family would use its many connexions at the highest level to make Scotland Yard a little bit more interested in the Shelbys’ trouble past and shadowy activities.

"You might find the task a little bit more difficult that you think, general", the thug had replied. "Besides, I for one is on the opinion that it’s better not to dig up the past. There are always things we have done, people we have met that are better forgotten. I bet that you, for example, woudn’t like much to be remembered of a very beautiful woman that you met in 1916. I think her name was supposed to be Juliana Van der Veen. But it wasn’t her real name eh ? I know peeple who remember her quite well".

He had blanched. That man was indeed the devil himself. How could have he learnt about his greatest shame ? He’d not been the only British officer who during his time on leave in France had talked too much in the bedroom of the woman Shelby was talking about. For her real name was Helga Braun, and she was a German spy. Of course, once she had been caught, the affair had been quickly hushed up, not to undermine the chiefs of staff’s image in the middle of the war. How on earth could a former sergeant major and bookmaker from Birmingham know about that ?

And it had not been the end of his suprises. More cautious, but not completely cowed by the unpleasant allusion – what proof Shelby could have, after all, that the spy had been his mistress ?- he’d asked a friend of his at Scottland Yard to give him discreetly access to any kind of file they would have about one Thomas Shelby. And it had appeared that there was none at all, none at least to which his friend could have access. And this, whereas Major Campbell's fight about the Peaky Blinders was well known -having even led at one point to the arrest of several members of the family- meant only one thing : Grace's lover enjoyed protection in very high places. Why ? The General couldn’t even try to guess. But that discovery had made him, on one hand, even more frightened for Grace. On the other hand, such a knowledge, joined to the only informations he could get concerning Shelby’s past, his impressive military record, had made him consider the possibility of finding a way to pretend, for Grace’s sake, that the man was socially acceptable. The news of Clive’s death had decided the matter. There would be a religious wedding, and it would be the occasion to welcome Grace back into the family, thus allowing her uncle to keep an eye on her again.

Grace was the daughter of his beloved sister, and the daughter he himself had never had. There was nothing he was not ready to do to protect her.

For now, she was completely under that man’s spell. One had only to look at her, glowing with happiness, and at the way she smiled at her husband, to understand that.

But one day or another, she’d have to wake up and remember who she was, what that man really was. And that day, her family would be there for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grace's family is not presented in a very favorable light in the show, and they seem indeed rather uptight and prejudiced people. But they must have loved Grace deeply to have welcomed her back after what was, at that time and in her social sphere, a terrible scandal. That why I put these thoughts in her uncle's head.
> 
> From the next chapter onwards, that story will become AU, for in my version of the following events in the series, Grace doesn't die.


	9. Matters of the heart

Grace Shelby had never imagined that the very next day after her wedding she would have to interfere in the love life of one of her husband’s exes. But considering what Linda had just told her on the phone, about the disastrous way Arthur, John and Michael had started handling the problem of Lizzie’s affair with Angel Changretta, it was urgent to do something.

She already had an idea of how the situation could be defused. But she would need Polly’s help for it, and she didn’t precisely enjoy the idea. She had now good enough relationships with Ada. And if her unwavering loyalty to Tommy would always prevent Esme and Linda from becoming real friends, the three women had at least realized that they shared a major objective : to keep their men and their children safe.

Polly was a different matter. If the wedding night had been some kind of truce, usually the old vixen never missed an occasion to be as unpleasant to her as she could be without getting into an open fight with Tommy. But as it was, she was the only one who could carry on the mission Grace was considering, so there was nothing else to do but to go visit her. In spite of her foul temper, Polly was far from stupid and seeing the danger, she would probably be amenable to helping her.

Two hours later, Grace was leaving Polly’s house fully satisfied by the interview.

Now all what she had to do was to join her husband at the Garrison for lunch, as it had been planned, and convince him to leave the "Lizzie problem" in his aunt’s capable hands.

Tommy smiled when she entered the small private room, and she never get tired of the power she had to make him brighten up, as somber or meditative as he was one moment before.

"How did you spend you day, love ?" he asked.

"Trying to solve the problem of Lizzie’s italian romance before John and Arthur turns the situation into a complete mess".

He frowned a little. "You shouldn’t bother about that", he said. "They told me they already took care of the matter".

"So they said. But what they did in fact, as you know, was setting fire to Vicente Chagretta’s restaurant, thus causing anger in the whole italian community. I know that the Changrettas have asked to talk to you".

She saw Tommy hesitate. She knew he didn’t like her to concern herself with the part of his activities that still led him to use violence and deal with dangerous people. But like it or not, he’d have to get used to it, for as long as he would take that path, she would follow him there as well.

At last, he replied :"That’s right. We’ll have an interview tomorrow".

"And naturally, you won’t disavow what your brothers did, so that inverview will be completely useless".

"What would you have me do, Grace ? Tell my brothers to apologize ? Show division and weakness in the family ?"

"No. I suggest you simply call off that meeting. Instead, Lizzie will go to see Angel and break up with him".

"That’s what my brothers and Michael asked her to do, but she refused".

"The way they asked her according to what Linda told me, I’m not surprised. Your oaf of a brother, and your not so subtle cousin did nothing but high-handedly putting forward your orders, whereas Lizzie only showed interest in Angel to rile you up".

'Where did you get that idea ?" said Tommy, seeming genuinely surprised. "She tells anyone that would listen how madly in love with him she is".

Grace smiled. Tommy was usually the smartest person in the room. Like the brillant strategist he was, he would take advantage of any kind of ground and circumstances, would find the right use for any man or woman likely to become a pawn in his game. But when it came to feelings, whether it was his or those of the people surrounding him, in spite or maybe because of all that cool and calculating intelligence, he would sometimes completely miss the point."

"Tommy, Lizzie is in love with _you_. Has been for ages. And for two years now, she’s been resenting you for having given to me, who betrayed you, the love that she, who’s always been loyal, wanted so badly for herself".

Tommy seemed to consider that new idea carefully, then shook his head. "I think you’re wrong, Grace. Lizzie once wanted to marry John, not me. It’s true that ... I’ve been one of her customers for a long time, but she never suggested that I should stop paying her".

Or had she ? Suddenly Tommy remembered one time in his office, when she’d said: "I wish just once you wouldn't pay me. As if we were ordinary people." At the time, he’d thought she just meant that she wished she was not a whore any more, and he’d found a way to help her fulfill her wish.

But Grace was not done with her quirky idea. "Do you imagine she’d have refused if you had proposed ? Oh, I think she really cared for John, and he, at least, was telling her that he loved her. But I’ve never seen her look at him the way she loooks at you when she’s sure you can’t see her".

Tommy gave an brief, dismissive laugh, but Grace would have bet that it covered his uneasiness at discussing his former mistress with his wife.

"Oh I see, and she was too shy to tell me what she was feeling about me eh ? Sounds just like Lizzie !"

Grace rolled her eyes. "If you think that a prostitute can’t have her pride, just like any other woman, and keep for herself feeings that she knows are not shared, then you’re not as clever as you think you are".

"Well, then maybe I’m not", Tommy drawled with all the appearance of perfect coolness. But the truth was that Lizzie being in love with him was not an idea he particularly enjoyed pondering over, especially considering the way he’d treated her at times. Besides, it was true that when he'd asked Michael to help his brothers to take care of the matter, he'd hoped that the boy would find a smarter way of preventing Angel from coming to the wedding than just following Arthur's and John's usual methods. The truth was that Michael embraced his new life too enthusiastically sometimes, and enjoyed a little too much the power it gave him over other people. Indeed, his brothers and cousins had not handled the situation well, he had to admit it. 

And so he said : "What do you suggest then, Grace ? That you or I should go to see Lizzie and ask her nicely to stop seing Angel Changretta ?"

"No, of course not. Polly will do it. I’ll have you know that she agrees with me about Lizzie’s feelings, and you told me once that she’s never wrong about matters of the heart. I’ve seen her this morning, and she told me that she knows how to convince Lizzie to break up with Angel without any need of further violence against the Changrettas".

Tommy felt that he should be angry that the two woman had discussed an alternative strategy behind his back. But would he ever be angry at Grace, whereas even when she’d nearly destroyed all what he’d worked so hard to build up, he’d not been able to hate her ? Besides, he was glad that Polly and Grace seemed to find at last some kind of common ground to work together for the sake of the family.

"All right then", he said. "That might be a good idea. And I’ve no doubt that Polly can be better at convincing a stubborn woman than Arthur, who can’t find a way to make his own wife listen to him".

Grace refrained from pointing ou that for the moment, _he_ was the one who had been convinced to listen to his wife. What mattered was that he’d actually accepted to discuss with her about problems that were outside the usual safe and legal sphere.

She fully intended that it was only a beginning.


	10. The sapphire

Since her wedding day, Grace had lived with a heavy sense of foreboding that was growing from hour to hour.

"It’s bad, bad business", Tommy had said about his dealing with the Russians, and he’d told her enough for her to know that it was an understatement. Churchill held her husband in the iron grip of a deadly blackmail : either he did as he was told, or he, Polly and his brothers would hang for one crime or another : Campbell’s murder, the Irish informer’s murder, Kimber’s murder, Churchill could have his pick. But once Tommy’s role in the minister’s twisted plan was over, what would become of him? Being herself a former agent of the Special Branch, Grace knew enough of the rules of shadow wars to guess that in the eyes of his imposed accomplices, he‘d know too much to be left alive. So now that she knew, she feared for him. So much.

But the worse of it was that he too was scared, scared for her and for the baby. And he admitting such a thing, even to her, was what had really frightened her the most.

Yet it was not in Grace’s nature to wait like a terrified rabbit when danger was near. Solving for Tommy the problem of Lizzie’s liaison with Changretta had helped her to feel more in control. Everything had gone as planned. Polly had gone to explain Lizzie how uncontrollable John had become and what having a blood debt with a family linked to the Napolitans would mean. She had made the younger woman admit that she’d never really loved Angel, and convinced her to go and tell him that she wanted to break up with him. Tommy, who knew his brother well, had ordered Arthur to follow John with some men until it was done. And he’d been right, for this very afternoon, Arthur and his team had caught the fool just as he was entering a chinese laundry where Angel was about to pick up a suit.

She’d heard Linda’s reports of the events of the day with satisfaction. But now, as she waited for Tommy to return from his mysterious appointment in London, trying to occupy her mind by writing invitations for the charity dinner, she felt her anguish rise again. Why was he so late ?

Suddenly, she heard the living room door open. He was there ! But contrary to his habit of looking for her, or calling her out loud as soon as he got home, she heard him pouring himself a drink. It was a certain sign that his day had not been that good.

And so was the way he was sprawled on the sofa with his eyes closed, but his shoulders tense, when she entered the room. In the state he was in, Grace knew that he wouldn’t give a damn that the leader of the Birmingham city council had accepted to attend the dinner, or that the Charity Commission was about to grant them the licence.

So instead of telling him about that, instead of asking him why he was so late, she just kissed him and asked in a light tone : "Should I ask you how your day was like a good wife ?"

"No", he replied softly, slightly shaking his head. Which could mean "No, my day wasn’t good", or "No, I don’t want to be asked about it". Most likely both. Her chest constricted a little.

"I’m guessing that means your day was not as successful as mine hmm ?" she said.

He smiled at last. "I don’t know for the rest of your day, but at least your idea of asking Polly to talk sense into Lizzie was a complete success. And that bloody idiot John was stopped in time. We’re rid of the Changretta problem, thanks to you. As for my day…"

"Yes ?" she asked hopefully. As good as she was at guessing his mood, and as much as she knew that it was not a good time to drag out of him what he wouldn’t voluntarily say, she couldn’t help hoping that he would at last confide in her completely.

"… That all depends on how you measure success" he replied, with one these unreadable looks of his. "See, personnally, I measure it in sapphires".

"Saphhires ?" she asked, quite taken aback by the end of the sentence.

"Uh-uh. Close your eyes".

She complied, relieved that the secret, this time, was not bigger than a jewl brought back to her as suprise gift.

"All right, you can open ‘em", she heard him say, the low purr of his voice deliciously close to her ear. She opened her eyes.

"Where the hell did you get that ?"

Instead of the cry of delight she had expected to let out, these words escaped from her lips before she could think about it. The sapphire was huge, to the point that it seemed to be false. But she knew that it was not, and that was what rekindled her fears. For this sapphire had not been bought, Grace was sure of it. Tommy was a rich man now, but not to the point he could buy on a whim such a priceless jewl. It was loot, and more probably linked to the Russian business. Weren’t the newspapers full of stories about White Russians selling their jewls to support themselves in their exile ? But Tommy didn’t answer her question, and she decided to let the matter down for the moment. It was late, Tommy was obviously exhausted, her questions would have to wait.

For now.


	11. Look at me

Grace became sure that something was very, very wrong when Tommy, who was back at last, rushed straight to Charlie’s bedroom without even looking for her before.

She hurried to join him in the baby’s room. She froze at the sight of him, brething heavily, his back to her and his forehead pressed on the wood panels of the cabinet.

"What’s wrong ?" she exclaimed. She’d never seen him once in such a state, even when they’d had to fight for their life against the two IRA activists.

"Nothing" Tommy replied, still out of breath. "Everything’s fine, Everything’s fine", he added, as if repeating himself could make his statement true, as if his panting breath and hagard eyes didn’t belie his words.

This time, she couldn’t help but lose her temper. "Tommy, Esme told me by phone that you’d been arrested. I was worry sick, wondering what I could do to get you out. Finally you’re back, and I find you in Charlie’s room, out of breath and obviously on the brink of panic ! How dare you tell me that everything is fine ?"

"Look at me !" she added, as he kept staring at the ground. "Look at me", she repeated, taking his head in her hands and forcing him to meet her eyes. She was struck by the fear she could see in that usually cool, unreadable blue stare.

"It’s me Tommy. Grace, the one you once asked to help you all along through life, and who promised again to do so two days ago. I know you think you have to shelter me, but you don’t. Must I remember you that I’m a former undercover agent, who killed two man, one to avenge my father, and the other to save your life ? And I would do it again, and again, to protect you and Charlie. Talk to me, love ! If there is any danger, I want to know about it, to be able to face it. Especially if it’s about Charlie, for God’s sake ! I’ve the right to know".

Tommy gazed long and intensely into her eyes, as if he wanted to measure the sincerity of her words and the strength of her resolve. Then he let out a deep sight, of defeat or of relief, she could not say.

Without a word, he took a small card in his pocket and gave it to her. It was an undertaker card. She gasped when she saw what was written on its back. She, too, suddenly felt as if she couldn’t breath.

"Where does this come from ? Who gave it to you ?" she asked in a strangled voice.

"It was under his pillow" Tommy wispered hoarsely. "It comes from the priest, one of these Odd Fellows I’m supposed to work with in the Russian business. He said it was meant to warn me that I must do everything they say. But the truth is that the man is insane. I think he did that on his own".

"Could you kill him ?" Grace asked coldly.

Tommy shook his head. "Not yet. The ones who are behind him would retaliate. But I’ve an idea. Maybe I can make them ask me to kill him. I just need a few days".

"But in the meantime, Charlie is no longer safe here."

"I know. I’m sorry Grace, I know I promised to keep you and Charlie safe… "

"What I asked you to promise, Tommy, is to walk away from any dangerous and illegal business as soon as possible, to keep us safe for good. But I knew from the start that it wouldn’t be easy for you to escape your past. And I’m well aware that this Russian business is a trap from which we must find a way to get out, before you can have a chance to keep your promise. So just tell me where you think that we could be as safe as possible, and let’s take Charlie there first thing in the morning".

"Small Heath", Tommy replied immediately. "Charlier would be safe there, even if they sent Scotttland Yard agents again we would be warned in time. But it’s not a place for you. We could find some hiding place, or we could stay here and I would fill the place with my men.

"No Tommy. I’m your wife, I chose to be with you. I won’t go in hiding far from you. And we can’t stay here, it’s too big, someone could always find a way to sneak in, as a fake delivery boy for instance. If Small Heath is good enough for you, it goes for me as well. Besides, I lived there once, remember ? As for Charlie, he’s so small, hopefully all this will be over before he’s old enough to remember anything of it.

Tommy nodded reluctantly. "All right", he said at last, "Small Heath it is. We’ll keep only Mary with us, if she agrees to come".

"She will. You know how devoted she is to Charlie". _And to you,_ she added for herself. It was for her both a source of astonishment and amusement to see that even the stern, upright old housekeeper was not immune to Tommy’s magnetism. She’d probably be appaled by the small flat and its surroundings, but she would soldier on. As for Grace herself, moving there meant daily contacts with the rest of the Shelby clan, including Polly and Lizzie who were far from being her biggest fans. But all this didn’t matter at all compared to Charlie’s safety. And there was also the hope that it would be easier to keep an eye on Tommy from there.

"Charlie will sleep with us tonight", he said. "And tomorrow we’ll move to Small Heath".

Grace nodded, then wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. She knew he wouldn’t sleep that night. And she was rather sure that neither would she.


	12. The King's shilling

It could have looked like any family meeting. Except that they were not at Small Heath, gathered around the dining table, or standing wherever they wanted in the office. Instead, Tommy had summoned them in the elegant study of their palatial house, and made them all sit in front of his desk, with him behind it, as a boss receiving his employees (but were they not just that ?) or a king his petitioners. And even if Grace didn’t completely approve of such theatrics, she understood that it was Tommy’s way of making his point even more clearly: they were in his pay to do whatever dirty work he told them to do, they signed for it any time they took his money, and so now they’d have to take the consequences.

She was standing in front of the window behind Tommy, and she knew that none of them would deny her that place now. Not when it was her who by shooting point blank into the head of the priest had allowed them all to be here today, to take their share of the loot.

Grace felt the pang of hatred, anger and fear she felt any time she thought of the events of the previous night. Hatred for the monster who had dared to take her baby from her and threaten his life, anger against Michael, who with his self-centered obsession to kill the man all by himself had jeopardized the success of Charlie’s rescuing, fear at the thought of what could have happened, had she not arrived in time. Even the recollection of the moment when she had put the gun to the back of the priest’s head, while he was busy strangling Tommy’s useless cousin, and pulled the trigger, were not enough to give her peace. She only hoped that some day, she would be able to put all these behind her. Hopefully what Tommy was about to do would burn all the bridges with his family, and she and Tommy would go very far from here and start another life.

And then Tommy’s started his speech, with an apology, of all things. Was it a sincere one ? Grace was not so sure. And she was not sure that he owed them any kind of apology either. Not when getting involved or not into the Russian business had never really been a choice he was free to make, what with Churchill breathing down his neck.

No. The only persons to whom Tommy owed an apology, and a massive one, were his wife and child. For having agreed to pass the task to kill the priest, that is to save his son, to a rookie killer such as Michael, who had proven completely incapable to get the job done efficiently.

Of course, Tommy had bullied them, manipulated them, insulted them sometimes, as usual. But for all their supposedly outraged feelings, they were taking Tommy’s money quite readily. Even saintly Linda, the greedy bitch.

Esme was the only one to make a selfless remark, if a reproachful one, about the innocent people’s blood that John would have now on his hands, had not the demonic priest been killed in time. Grace felt a surge of gratitude toward her. Only Esme had done her best to keep her informed, out of concern about what blowing the train would do to John, but also because she was very fond of her nephew, as she was of fond of all children. It was Esme who had searched John’s pocket and found the address of the priest’s hiding place for her.

Grace’s thoughts returned to the present as Tommy was now getting to his point : "And the rest of you, you took the King's shilling. You took the King’s fucking shilling. When you take the King’s shilling, the King expects you to kill. Right Arthur ? Yeah ? That’s how it works. Right John ?"

Neither Arthur nor John bothered to voice their agreement to the obvious. Only a very subdued Michael mumbled "That’s right" while taking the envelope intended for him. Grace was well aware that it wouldn’t last, but for the moment, Michael was quite humbled by his previous failure and his awareness of what could have been the fatal consequences of his shortcomings.

"That’s right Pol ?"

Did Tommy expect that Polly would just bow her head and agree ? Instead of that, the old hag just met his eyes, with her trademark poisonous smile.

"Tommy, you’ve had a bad time", she said in a sugary voice. "We understand. So at an alternative time, when we have all recovered, I would like to put before the family an alternative view of the future of the Shelby company limited. A more hopeful view."

If Grace had any say in the matter, there would be not view of the future, hopeful or otherwise, for the Shelby company limited, at least as long as it would count that harpy among its members. Apparently she had already forgotten how her benighted superstitions had nearly cost Tommy his life, when she’d come straight to a church, in order to confess a crime not already committed ! As if there was anything holy in a man such as John Hugues ! And as if Polly didn’t know how little respect some of these priests had for the seal of confession, especially if the safety on one of them hung in the balance ! How the stupid cow had cried and cried, when in front of Tommy’s bed, Grace and Ada had made her realized the full extent of her betrayal ! And yet, how quickly she had reverted to her usual arrogance ! Even if Polly had never been Grace’s favorite person, she had thought her at least to be a strong and reliable ally to Tommy. But the more she learnt to know her, the more she saw that behind the tough customer attitude was a rather weak woman, with bouts of self-pity that made her turn to the bottle. An impulsive, unreliable individual, just like the rest of the lot.

But just in a few minutes, all of this would come to an end.

Grace couldn’t regret was about to happen. She did feel a little bit sorry for Arthur, because of his unwavering loyalty to Tommy, and above all for Esme, who would fear so much for John’s life for a while. For Ada as well, who would worry too, even if the trusted Tommy. But Grace didn’t feel sorry at all for the good fright Polly and Michael were about to get. And for the anger they would all feel when it was over. With some luck, none of them, save for Ada, would want to have anything to do with Tommy any more, so he would have to stop feeling responsible for them all the time and they would have to take responsibility for their own lives, their own mistakes. With some luck, that toxic link would be severed for good.

And on top of that, thanks to the hold the papers discovered in the Russians’ cellar had given them on the king himself, Churchill’s threats would have to stop.

Grace truly hoped that a new life was about to begin for the three of them. And for the little one she was sure, now, she was carrying.

THE END


End file.
